She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
