He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
