I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
