im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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