we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
