this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
