There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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