people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
