Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
