I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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