I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
