I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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