the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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