I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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