thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
love makes seman taste better
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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