It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize