What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
