at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
