I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
