Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize