yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
