I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
