I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
