We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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