yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
