is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize