so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
3 2 1 whiskey
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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