Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My pussy is not your playground.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
