just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
