Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
