my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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