I'm really into asian looking animals
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
