They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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