Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
her vagine was all disorganized.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
