if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
