where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize