Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
