Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
