Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize