So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My vagina just clenched in fear
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
