I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
