sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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