What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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