Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize