try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
