Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
