For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
