his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
