FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
