apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
