today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
