Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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