I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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