Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
did you just send me my own nude
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
