I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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