hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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