i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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