kristin has been a bad kristin
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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