Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm at about main and main street
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
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