i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
