It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
