Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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