It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i came on her dog
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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