i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
